A lil Update

17 November 2019

Hey everybody!

Yeah, it's me, sometimes I forget to have "Blogger" in your bio you have to write from time to time.  I have been really invested in my Instagram lately because I lost my account and had to rebuild for scratch. I kinda forgot how difficult it was to build the numbers because back then I was only leisurely trying to get to 2k, but now I am starting again, although followers don't seem to be that huge of a deal actually since my engagement had actually gotten better, but, enough about that.

I really didn't know what to write about and even as I am typing I have no idea where this all going. I just wanted to talk to you guys and say: Hi. How are you? This time of year can be particularly taxing if you suffer from SAD. I know a few of us do. It really has messed with my mental health recently. I have been really low and my anxiety has flared up again, plus losing 6kg and getting a chest infection at the end of placement has really topped off

a rough few weeks. To be honest, all this just builds character, but I have been reminded that I still do lose a significant amount of weight when put under stress. I hate it! I feel weak and sickly and really really low on energy. So I'll remember to eat. I skipped dinner a lot after placement because I constantly felt tired. So everyone who is reading this. The garden can not be watered unless the owner is well. Which just means put yourself first. I am really trying to work on "bothering" people when my mental health dips.

 I am sure those who have suffered from any type of inconvenience have suffered the same sinking experience in the stomach when it has been time to ask for help from other people. No matter how close to the person you are, because you'll always feel like you're burdening them. I really need to get better at saying that I don't feel good would you mind you know lending an ear? I think it's particularly because I have severe trust issues, but that's just a thought.

Another thing I wanted to talk about was, well how time seems to fly... it feels like only yesterday it was the summer and now the leaves have changed colours and fallen and soon just as the leaves have fallen so will snow. I am looking forward to Christmas! I love the time of year although it doesn't help that I have an essay due during the time, but hey Christmas is Christmas right?  I can't wait for the festivities to begin! John Lewis has already released their ad so Christmas season has technically already begun, but I just need a minute,  Ahh as for uni? Well, I still stand by the fact that the work is easier than A-Levels but let me not jinx myself.

Soon it will be 2020. It seemed so far away from, the concept of 2020. I'll actually be 20 which is scary. Don't feel very 20, maybe because I haven't passed many milestones yet. In my head, I feel very juvenile and childlike. Eh, I guess we go at our own pace. Oh another live update I finally got Netflix full time, I am watching Narcos and Good Girls with my mum (No Spoilers!) Also feeling a little optimistic as I finally get to see the light of day again!

well, that's enough rambling from me. Tell me what's going on with you?

Emmy xx

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